Tag Archives: disagree better

Confirmation Bias: Why We Usually See What We Expect to See

Episode 3 of the Building Bridges Series
3-minute read


Have you ever wondered why two people can look at exactly the same information and come to completely different conclusions? Or why some people seem immune to facts that contradict what they already believe?

There’s a good chance that this is a result of a fundamental feature of the way our brains operate: Confirmation Bias. When it comes absorbing new information, you can think of this as a sometimes helpful but often troublesome gatekeeper.

What Is Confirmation Bias?

Confirmation bias is our natural tendency to notice, seek out, and remember information that supports what we already believe, while ignoring or dismissing information that contradicts those beliefs.

It’s like wearing glasses that filter reality, allowing you to see only what matches your existing worldview. The problem? We don’t realize we’re wearing these glasses. We believe we’re seeing the full, objective picture.

Your Brain’s Filter System

Your brain processes millions of bits of information every second, but you’re only consciously aware of a tiny fraction of it. To avoid getting overwhelmed, your brain uses shortcuts to decide what deserves your attention.

One of these shortcuts is to prioritize information that confirms your existing beliefs, since that’s much faster and requires a lot less energy. This happens in three key ways:

  1. Selective attention: You naturally notice things that support your beliefs and overlook things that don’t.
  2. Biased interpretation: When faced with ambiguous information, you interpret it in ways that support your existing views.
  3. Selective memory: You remember evidence that confirms your beliefs better than evidence that challenges them.

This isn’t something only “other people” do. We ALL do it, regardless of education level, intelligence, or political leaning.

The “That’s Interesting” vs. “That’s Wrong” Test

Here’s a simple way to spot confirmation bias in action: Pay attention to your immediate reaction when you encounter new information.

If the information seems to support your existing beliefs, you likely think, “That’s interesting!” or “I knew it!” You accept it easily, without much scrutiny.

If the information contradicts your beliefs, your first thought is probably closer to, “That’s wrong!” or “That can’t be right.” You immediately look for flaws or reasons to dismiss it, which often includes questioning the credibility of the information source.

The stronger your reaction, the more your confirmation machine is probably at work.

Why It’s So Hard to Overcome

Our confirmation machine isn’t just a minor glitch—it’s a powerful force that shapes how we see the world. And there are several reasons it’s so difficult to overcome:

  1. It operates largely unconsciously. We don’t realize we’re filtering information.
  2. It feels good to have our beliefs confirmed. Being right gives us a small dopamine reward.
  3. Challenging our beliefs can feel threatening, triggering our brain’s defense mechanisms.
  4. We’re surrounded by people who often share and reinforce our biases.
  5. If you engage in social media, powerful algorithms are restricting what you’ll see to content that you’ve already shown an interest in.

Remember when I mentioned in my post about our two brains that the Lizard Brain plays a leading role in our decision-making? Well, confirmation bias is one of its favorite tools.

Why This Matters

Confirmation bias isn’t just an interesting psychological quirk—it’s a key reason we’re so divided on important issues. When we only see evidence that supports our existing beliefs, we drift further apart instead of finding common ground.

Understanding confirmation bias doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly be free from it. But awareness is the first step. The next time you feel strongly about something, try asking yourself: “Am I seeing the full picture here, or is my confirmation machine filtering my view of reality?”

What do you think? Have you caught your confirmation machine in action recently? Which beliefs or stories might your brain be working to protect? You’re invited to add your thoughts below.


Up Next:
The Power (and The Dark Side) of Tribes


Changing Course: How America Got Lost, and How We Can Find Our Way Back Together

An Introduction to the Building Bridges To Common Ground Series

If we’re going to have a shot at living together peacefully, we need to understand each other.
— Jonathan Haidt


Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been interested in how things work (or sometimes, don’t work). But back in 2016, I was especially puzzled about a phrase I kept hearing people say during the US Presidential race between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. It was this:
“How could you possibly vote for (fill in the blank)?”.
It didn’t matter which side they were on–everyone had the same incredulous, confused tone in their voices.

Now, I know there have always been disagreements about who to vote for–that’s part of how democracy works. But what struck me then was that people weren’t just disagreeing–they genuinely could not understand how someone else could possibly come to such a bizarre conclusion. It’s like we were living in different realities. And of course, it hasn’t gotten any better since then…it’s continued to ramp up. How did we get so divided? And is there a path to finding our way back to some common ground? That’s the basic concept behind this blog series. And of course, this idea is not limited to politics. We experience deep differences and misunderstandings in our work environments and in our attitudes about how kids should be educated, our opinions about health and wellness, use of technology, environmental perspectives, and many other issues.

One thing we all have in common: we all have to make daily decisions about how we will live our lives. And our collective answers to those questions have a lot to do with how well we’re going to be able to live together. Where do we get our ideas and why does there seem to be so many differences in how we answer fundamental questions like this?

What This Series Is All About:

This Events For Change blog has always been about exploring ways we can create positive change. Most of what I’ve written in the past has been about using the power of gathering people together at events to facilitate and inspire changes. In this Building Bridges series, I’m going to focus more on the dynamics of how we can encourage change by having more productive conversations with people we disagree with, so we can reach some common ground where we can all live together and, even better, collaborate on improving our lives. I believe we can do much better than we have been, but we will need to build new skills and understanding if we want to get there. Obviously the way we’re used to doing things is not working well–I think almost everyone would agree with that.

This process starts with yet another set of simple questions: Can we really change someone else’s mind? If so, how? And are we open to having our own minds changed? (That last one may be the toughest challenge of all.)

These questions have taken on extra significance as our society grows increasingly polarized. Like many of you, I’ve watched friends and families divide over politics, witnessed the erosion of trust in our shared institutions, and felt the growing difficulty of having meaningful conversations across differences. Over time, what I’ve discovered is that there are some patterns behind this chaos—understandable reasons why humans behave the way we do, why society has evolved to where we are today, and most importantly, how we might chart a better course forward together.

I’m not suggesting that I have all the answers – I don’t! But what I can do is share a number of useful ideas from a lot of smart people I have stumbled across over the years. I’m interested in sharing these ideas with other curious, thoughtful people who have similar questions about why humanity often has such a hard time living together and how we might get better at that.

I’m not trying to sell you on anything, or get you to agree with me. I’m not here to persuade you that you are right, or that you are wrong. And the goal is not necessarily to get everyone to agree, which is likely to be impossible. Instead, the hope is to try to learn how to find each other around common values and concerns, so we can at least move forward together.

Topics We’ll Explore:

My plan is to explore five interconnected areas that help explain how we think, believe, and relate to one another:

Foundations: How Humans Process Information

Understanding our “lizard brain” versus our “wizard brain,” why emotions and instinct drive decision-making, and how our need for mattering shapes our worldview.

The Power of Stories

How narratives shape our reality, why stories are more persuasive than facts, and the origin stories that define cultures and individual worldviews.

Belief Formation & Maintenance

The fascinating ways our brains build and defend beliefs, why confirmation bias is so powerful, and why it’s so hard to change someone else’s mind.

Group Identity & Behavior

Our tribal nature, the moral foundations behind political differences, and the complex dynamics of belonging and exclusion.

Bridging Divides

Practical approaches to better conversations, techniques for genuine understanding, and building connections across differences.

An Invitation For You:

Warren Bennis once said, “None of us is as smart as all of us.” This isn’t just a collection of my observations—it’s an invitation to a conversation. At the end of most posts, I’ll ask: “What do you think? What am I missing?” Because I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do believe in the power of collective wisdom.

I hope you’ll join me in this exploration, add your own insights, and help build understanding. Because finding our way back to connection doesn’t require us to agree on everything—just to see each other more clearly.

What questions are you hoping this blog might address? What aspects of our divided world puzzle you the most? What do you think it will take to get people who disagree to at least have constructive conversations? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.


Up Next: we’ll jump in with our first topic,
“Meet Your Two Brains: The Wizard and The Lizard”