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Confirmation Bias: Why We Usually See What We Expect to See

Episode 3 of the Building Bridges Series
3-minute read


Have you ever wondered why two people can look at exactly the same information and come to completely different conclusions? Or why some people seem immune to facts that contradict what they already believe?

There’s a good chance that this is a result of a fundamental feature of the way our brains operate: Confirmation Bias. When it comes absorbing new information, you can think of this as a sometimes helpful but often troublesome gatekeeper.

What Is Confirmation Bias?

Confirmation bias is our natural tendency to notice, seek out, and remember information that supports what we already believe, while ignoring or dismissing information that contradicts those beliefs.

It’s like wearing glasses that filter reality, allowing you to see only what matches your existing worldview. The problem? We don’t realize we’re wearing these glasses. We believe we’re seeing the full, objective picture.

Your Brain’s Filter System

Your brain processes millions of bits of information every second, but you’re only consciously aware of a tiny fraction of it. To avoid getting overwhelmed, your brain uses shortcuts to decide what deserves your attention.

One of these shortcuts is to prioritize information that confirms your existing beliefs, since that’s much faster and requires a lot less energy. This happens in three key ways:

  1. Selective attention: You naturally notice things that support your beliefs and overlook things that don’t.
  2. Biased interpretation: When faced with ambiguous information, you interpret it in ways that support your existing views.
  3. Selective memory: You remember evidence that confirms your beliefs better than evidence that challenges them.

This isn’t something only “other people” do. We ALL do it, regardless of education level, intelligence, or political leaning.

The “That’s Interesting” vs. “That’s Wrong” Test

Here’s a simple way to spot confirmation bias in action: Pay attention to your immediate reaction when you encounter new information.

If the information seems to support your existing beliefs, you likely think, “That’s interesting!” or “I knew it!” You accept it easily, without much scrutiny.

If the information contradicts your beliefs, your first thought is probably closer to, “That’s wrong!” or “That can’t be right.” You immediately look for flaws or reasons to dismiss it, which often includes questioning the credibility of the information source.

The stronger your reaction, the more your confirmation machine is probably at work.

Why It’s So Hard to Overcome

Our confirmation machine isn’t just a minor glitch—it’s a powerful force that shapes how we see the world. And there are several reasons it’s so difficult to overcome:

  1. It operates largely unconsciously. We don’t realize we’re filtering information.
  2. It feels good to have our beliefs confirmed. Being right gives us a small dopamine reward.
  3. Challenging our beliefs can feel threatening, triggering our brain’s defense mechanisms.
  4. We’re surrounded by people who often share and reinforce our biases.
  5. If you engage in social media, powerful algorithms are restricting what you’ll see to content that you’ve already shown an interest in.

Remember when I mentioned in my post about our two brains that the Lizard Brain plays a leading role in our decision-making? Well, confirmation bias is one of its favorite tools.

Why This Matters

Confirmation bias isn’t just an interesting psychological quirk—it’s a key reason we’re so divided on important issues. When we only see evidence that supports our existing beliefs, we drift further apart instead of finding common ground.

Understanding confirmation bias doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly be free from it. But awareness is the first step. The next time you feel strongly about something, try asking yourself: “Am I seeing the full picture here, or is my confirmation machine filtering my view of reality?”

What do you think? Have you caught your confirmation machine in action recently? Which beliefs or stories might your brain be working to protect? You’re invited to add your thoughts below.


Up Next:
The Power (and The Dark Side) of Tribes


Why Stories Beat Facts (Almost Every Time)

Episode 2 of the Building Bridges Series
4-minute read


Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind with facts, statistics, and logical arguments, only to watch them completely ignore your evidence? It’s not just frustrating—it’s puzzling. If facts are true, why don’t they convince people?

The answer lies in the power of stories.

The Photo That Changed Refugee Policy

In 2015, a single photograph of two-year-old Alan Kurdi, who drowned while his family tried to flee Syria, sparked a dramatic international response to the refugee crisis. This one image accomplished what thousands of news articles containing statistics about multitudes of refugees couldn’t do—it moved people to action.

Charitable donations skyrocketed. Policies changed. Public opinion shifted dramatically.

Why did one image of one child have more impact than statistics about 6.7 million Syrian refugees? Because the photo told a story that statistics simply can’t.

How Our Brains Process Stories vs. Facts

Our brains evolved to think in stories, not spreadsheets. For most of human history, knowledge was passed down through storytelling. As a result, our brains are wired to pay special attention to narratives.

When we hear a story:

  • Our brains release oxytocin, the chemical that promotes trust and empathy
  • Multiple areas of our brain activate simultaneously (language, sensory, emotional)
  • We mentally insert ourselves into the narrative, almost like a simulation
  • We remember the information far longer than isolated facts

Facts and statistics, by contrast, typically activate only our analytical brain regions. They don’t trigger the same emotional engagement, and they’re much harder to remember.

Why Stories Are “Sticky”

Think about the last time you tried to remember a list of facts versus a good story. Which stayed with you longer?

Stories At Work

Stories are “sticky” because they:

  • Create emotional connections
  • Provide context and meaning
  • Follow patterns our brains recognize
  • Create vivid mental images
  • Simplify complex information

A good story feels true, regardless of whether it actually is. And that’s exactly what makes stories so powerful—and sometimes dangerous.

When Stories Override Facts

A compelling narrative can override even the most solid facts. This happens because:

  1. We process stories first: Our Lizard Brain (the emotional, instinctual part) processes stories before our Wizard Brain (the rational, analytical part) can evaluate the facts.
  2. Stories create meaning: We inherently seek meaning, and stories provide ready-made frameworks for making sense of the world.
  3. Stories reinforce identity: We embrace stories that confirm our existing beliefs and group memberships.

This means that when facts contradict a story we believe in, we’re more likely to reject the facts than to abandon the story.

Harnessing the Power of Stories

Lots of smart people believe that if other people just knew the facts that I know, they would naturally agree with me. But if you’re interested in persuading someone to your point of view, that’s probably a waste of time.

If you want to be persuasive, facts alone won’t cut it. You need to frame those facts within a meaningful story. The most effective approach combines both:

  • Stories to engage emotions and create meaning
  • Facts to provide substance and credibility

When Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I have a dream,” he didn’t just list statistics or reasons for why we should address inequality—he told a vivid story about a better future that people could see themselves in.

Why This Matters

Understanding the power of stories helps explain why we’re so divided on many issues despite having access to the same information. It’s not just about facts—it’s about the different stories we use to make sense of those facts.

The next time you find yourself frustrated that someone won’t accept what seems like an obvious truth, ask yourself: What story are they living in? And how might I connect my facts to a story that resonates with their values and experiences? That may be what it takes to get them to hear what you’re really saying.

Can you give a personal example of when hearing a story changed your mind about something important? Have you noticed yourself rejecting facts that contradicted a narrative you already believed in? You’re invited to add your thoughts below.


Up Next:
Confirmation Bias: Why We Usually See What We Expect To See”


Meet Your Two Brains: The Wizard and The Lizard

Episode 1 of the Building Bridges To Common Ground Series
4-minute read


Like a lot of people, I used to think that we humans are basically rational creatures who occasionally get emotional. We tend to picture ourselves as generally making logical decisions after carefully weighing evidence and considering our options—although emotions may sometimes interfere with our otherwise sound judgment.

But what if it’s actually the other way around?

An extensive body of neuroscience shows that the vast majority of our decisions are driven mostly by emotional and instinctual responses, which we later justify with logical-sounding explanations. Understanding this fundamental truth about how our brains actually work can transform how we see ourselves and how we interact with others.

Your Two Competing Systems

You have two distinct thinking systems that often compete for attention and control: the Lizard Brain and the Wizard Brain.

The Lizard Brain: Your Default Operating System

Your Lizard Brain (also called the reptilian or “instinctual brain”) evolved over millions of years with one primary mission: Keep You Alive. It’s constantly scanning your environment for potential threats or rewards, automatically categorizing everything it encounters as:

Fight or flight
  • Safe or dangerous
  • Familiar or unfamiliar
  • Rewarding or threatening

This system operates on emotion and instinct. It’s lightning-fast and energy-efficient. When it detects a potential threat—whether a physical danger or a challenging idea—it triggers immediate defensive reactions.

The problem? Your Lizard Brain can’t tell the difference between a savage predator and an opposing political point of view. Both can trigger the exact same defensive “fight, flight or freeze” reaction in our bodies.

The Wizard Brain: Your Executive Override

Your Wizard Brain, centered in your prefrontal cortex, is a relatively recent evolutionary development. It’s responsible for rational thought, complex analysis, and self-control. It’s what allows you to question your initial reactions, consider multiple perspectives, and make nuanced decisions.

The Wizard Brain is impressive but has significant limitations: it’s relatively slow, requires substantial energy, and often gets overridden when emotions run high. Think of it as a powerful but resource-intensive program that your brain only runs when necessary.

A Surprising Imbalance

Research in cognitive psychology reveals that a substantial majority of our mental processing occurs automatically, outside our conscious awareness. While we’d like to believe our thoughtful analysis drives most of our decisions, studies suggest otherwise.

Our Lizard Brain operates continuously and effortlessly, generating impressions, intuitions, and emotional responses that significantly influence our choices. Meanwhile, our Wizard Brain requires deliberate activation and consumes considerable mental energy.

This imbalance explains why we often make decisions based on emotion and instinct first, then use logical thinking afterward to find supporting evidence that will justify our decisions. And it makes sense, since the Lizard Brain is located right at the top of the brain stem, where all of our sensory input flows into the brain to be processed. The very next stop after that is the emotional center of the brain. It’s not that rational thought plays no role—it’s that it frequently serves to explain and validate what our intuitive brain has already decided.

Think of a person who tells you that they have decided to buy a new car. They’re excited about it, but it’s likely that they will also give you a few reasons for why it’s actually a smart decision. Their old car is getting up there in mileage and the brakes are worn, so it’s probably going to need some expensive repairs soon. That can help make it feel like the new car won’t actually be much more expensive, right? Of course, this is almost never true, but their Wizard Brain is doing its best to help justify what they have already decided they want. This is what we call rationalization–and it happens after the emotional center of our brain has already made a choice. Our brains tend to argue for what we want to be true.

This doesn’t mean we’re hopelessly irrational. Rather, it suggests that understanding the relationship between our intuitive and analytical thinking systems is crucial for better decision-making.

Intelligence vs. Emotional Awareness

You might wonder: Doesn’t intelligence make a difference? Won’t “smarter” people be more likely to use their Wizard Brains?

Surprisingly, conventional intelligence (as measured by IQ or academic achievement) doesn’t necessarily correlate with better decision-making when our emotions are triggered. Studies have shown that highly intelligent people are just as susceptible to emotional reasoning as anyone else—and sometimes even more so, because they can be better at constructing elaborate justifications for their beliefs and developing attacks on other people’s positions.

What seems to matter more is emotional awareness—recognizing when your Lizard Brain has taken control and consciously engaging your Wizard Brain. This skill is closer to what we might call wisdom than intelligence, and it can be developed regardless of your IQ score.

Why This Matters for Bridging Divides

When someone disagrees with us, their position likely isn’t the result of faulty logic— it may be rooted in different emotional responses that their Wizard Brain has rationalized. And of course, we may be doing the same thing to them.

One more important point: Facts alone rarely change minds. This is because facts require your Wizard Brain to process them, but most of the time the Lizard Brain is actually in charge. This isn’t because people are stupid or irrational—it’s because they’re human.

Lizard Wizard

We need both the Lizard and the Wizard to function at our best. But it’s probably better when the Wizard rides the Lizard, rather than the other way around.

The next time you find yourself in an argument, ask yourself: “Which part of my brain is running my show right now? And what might be driving this other person’s responses?”

What do you think? Can recognizing our emotional foundations change how you’ll approach a disagreement? Have you noticed highly intelligent people (maybe even you) who sometimes get trapped in lizard-brain reactions? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.


Up Next: “Why Stories Beat Facts (almost every time)”